Fashion horoscopes for the month of August.
Aries (Mar 21 – Apr 19) Why are you so restless? Try nudes and neutrals.
Taurus (Apr 20 – May 20) You guys are cute. You remind me of summertime or Little house on the Prairie. This month clean and simple. White.
Gemini (May 21 – June 20) Oh man. Gemini. Y’all are fucking crazy. Jekyll and Hyde for sure. This month, block the shit outta you’re clothes, because you’re all over the place.
Cancer (June 21 – July 22) Dear Cancer. I love you. Carte blanche for you always, because no matter what, you always look good and make it work.
Leo (July 23 – Aug 22) Enough of you, you you! Wear black for once, so we don’t have
to see you.
Virgo (Aug 23 – Sept 22) You practical motherfuckers. Wear green.
Libra (Sept 23 – Oct 22) Make up your mind. already. Whatever I say won’t really matter anyway. At least we can agree on something, blue jeans. Mexi tuxedo. Do it.
Scorpio (Oct 23 – Nov 21) Hey Asshole. This month it’s all about red. Like Suge Knight suits and shit.
Sagittarius (Nov 22 – Dec 21) Well, aren’t you cheery? Pretty much. Yeah, all the time. Do us all a favor and wear grey. Just for a month.
Capricorn (Dec 22 – Jan 19) Caps rule…and since you’re all conceited, you think so too. Yeah you do. I’m feeling navy blue.
Aquarius (Jan 20 – Feb 18) You guys make me nuts. Sorry but your so flaky all the time, all dreamy and shit. When you come back to earth, try khaki.
Pisces (Feb 19 – March 20) Hmm, yep. Ed Hardy. Why? Why not. Tattoo art and rhinestones never looked better.
All art courtesy of Boris Vallejo